venom

Feeling a lot relaxed this weekend,since I got ovr wid the much hyped presentation which went off pretty well,n secondly an unexpetd call frm a vry old frn was a pleasant surprise..actually I had 2 topics 4 this post..so wil go wid d previous one…since I need to give a deep thought to the othr one which I discovrd lately n it screwed my head..
This week as always had smthng in its kit which I had heard of several time, but didn’t ever faced..
When ur in an urgency,you have to bear with everything..as im a student of university and my bro was in an urgent need of his graduation degree..which he completed a couple of yrs back..so,rightly he chose me to do dis job 4 him..It was a hell of a experience..being a govt org. what else can u expect from it…yes im talking about corruption..
“Corruption is a tree, whose branches are Of an immeasurable length: they spread Ev'rywhere; and the dew that drops from thence Hath infected some chairs and stools of authority”
It is a disease which is slowly and gradually poisoning our country..I had to bribe(in my words “bribe”,”fees” in his,which he kept in his pocket) that clerk to get my job done,though it wasn’t a big amount but a bribe is a bribe..if I wudn’t have done it,it wud have taken weeks to crack that nut,n wud have affected sm1’s career..
Many-a-times you wud have faced similar situation but may be with other terms like commission,donation,chai-pani,apki shraddha etc.
We blame the system for everything wrong happening around us,but smeway or the other we are a part of it..we are the one who can change it..but we need to start from the grass root level..
There are so many political parties why cant we youth have a party,comprising of literate guys n gals below 40 yrs..n with a retirement agelimit..im saying below 40yrs coz..elder politicians though being experienced are useless..(mind u exceptions are always there)..
There are basically 2 types of politics 1)political,2)developmental..the older lot focuses on the 1st one..but im sure the younger lot wud focus on the latter.
“The military don't start wars. Politicians start wars.”
It is said that we dream of India becoming super power by 2020..but do you think that these uncivilized politicians,who are here just to pay off their old scores can make it possible?? youth has the power to dream with an ability to fulfil it..
If youths are there in evry fields then why not polotics??this applies to me too..why is it that aftr pursuing our due education we look for a lavish career,a well settled life,a happening lifestyle,n not polotics??
A 100 of youth together can make a difference but the thing is we need to unite..
Im not a chauvinist,but this is what I feel. “The most heroic word in all languages is revolution.”
I know this post wud sound a bit weird bt just give it a thought..

immortal love

This post is dedicated to my grandpa who is leaving 2mrw for my cousins home,and to my grandma who is no more in this materilistic world.
It's been 7 months since grandpa has been wid us in our abode..when he came he was not alone..he was accompanied by dadi my grandma..these 7 months was like an emotional melodrama for him consisting of both positive and negative aspect..positive in the sense..i have seen a satisfaction on his face,on the transfer of my uncle back to the hometown,n also the blithe when my brother was offered a dignified job,to share all these happinez my grandma was there with him..But 2day wen he is leaving our house she is no more,neither with him nor with us..his major dismay is that till now wherever he went,he was accompanied by her..but this is for the first time he has to go alone..
Grandpa is in his late 80’s..and its just been 4 n a half months since grandma left us..since then he has not been living his life he is just trying to “pass” it..many a times I have seen him analyzing,observing grandma’s antiques and utilities so as to be close to her..not even a single day when he does not reminisces her..
he has been an idol of patience,courage,strength and will always be..but I have seen him craving for grandma..
What to say about my grandma..she was a highly intellectual lady..im nt sayin this coz she was my grandma..any person in her close vicinity would say the same.Even in those times when their was dearth of facilities,n women were considered underdogs and were imposed with lot of restrictions ,she proved her metal by overcoming all those restrictions..only for good upbringing of her children..as any mother would have done..
I dnt knw whether she was able to achieve what she actually desired..but then sometimes you have to sacrifice your dreams for the sake of others.Im saying this coz of her writings or call it an autobiography..where she poured her heart out.she had a gr8 command over hindi as well as English...i must say despite being so independent in her thoughts she was completely devoted towards her family..This is evident from the bond each family member share ..this was what she wanted.she always wished to see all of us together..and we very much are.
Both my grandma and grandpa’s nature was totally diverse,quite natural,since this is the soul behind a successful relationship. "Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end." if grandma loved to be social then grandpa was a loner.they had entirely different food tastes.
Grandpa u always use to say that I have offered lot of servings to grandma during her last days,but trust me it was not offered to earn any praise,I would have considered it fruitful if grandma would have recovered,I was just trying to increase the gap between her life and death..so that she could stay with us for a longer time,but then lets face the veracity it was an incurable disease.

What to say grandpa,I will really miss those evening walks of about 15-20mins which we had after dinner,each walk taught me a new lesson,and gave a new dimension to my life.you are an institution,as was your betterhalf.
I know we all get occupied in our day to day activities and somewhere,somehow we have started living with it..but I can completely understand your grief..she meant the whole world to you..and when a part of you leaves you at this stage of life its really hard to condone.. “There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.”
Dadi this is for you I know u are up above in the sky and showering your blessings upon us..but why did you go? “Time goes by, life goes on, and all I can think of is why you're gone."
Grandpa I am glad that we are in the same city,will definetly catch up on weekends..but I would just say that “Seeing your partners death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.”wherever she would be lets wish that her soul rest in peace..
Isn’t love immortal??
See u grandpa
Miss u grandma.(chitthi na koi sandes jaane vo kaunsa des jahan tum chale gaye)

some questions unanswered

"once you start to question your life you get to a higher level of awareness,its like turning the light on--voila you see you have choices and choices are sacred"
what if??after someone's demise you come to know that he loved you like anything..n you too had a liking for him.
what if??when you possess a dream,with full determination,but are unable to accomplish it.
what if??when you have champions all around,but you know that you are not the one.
what if??when you are constantly not allowed to rise up from your past failures,even after putting in a lot of hardwork .
what if??when you are let down by your failures,even when you try to ignore them.
what if??when you don't want to leave your makers,just because of your career.
what if??when you are not credited,for the credit you deserve.
what if??when you are assessed according to others performance.
what if??when you really care but are unable to express.
what if??when your only desire to see your makers proud of you,is not fulfiled.
what if..??many more..but with no answer..
we learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it,than we do from learning the answer itself.

transition

feeling a bit low since yesterday..may be a person very dear to me said something facetious,with not even a mere intention of hurting me...but i couldn't help it,it nipped my heart..then i scrutinize that what am i upset with??with that person who didn't even know that he had hurt me..or with myself..i quickly reminiscent some scenes of my past..i found that
We are responsible for what we are today,and whatever we wish ourselves to be,we have the power to make ourslves.
If what we are now has been the result of our own past actions,it certainly follows that whatever we wish to be in future can be produced by our present actions;an individual is responsible for living his own life and "discovering himself" if he shifts to somebody else he fails to find out the meaning of his own existence,one can't blame others for his own failures.
Here i am back with same old zest for life.
"We are here for some special reason.Stop being a prisoner of your past.Become the architect of your future.

beauty does matter

"she did not draw your attention to how pretty she was,she didn't draw attention to anything bout her.this was her beauty"
I recall an incident..a couple of days back i was hanging around with a bunch of old frenz at a food outlet..sooner we realized a damn good looking young lass sitting beside us..all guys went oh la la..over her looks..and i can bet that each and every individual was mesmerized by her looks..one can call her pretty but was she really beautiful?... decide after reading this..
All of a sudden she stood up and went to the counter with full agitation..and denied to pay the bill reason being "the coffee served was tasteless" this all lead to a fracas...it hardly took us a minute to realize that how catankerous and what a dolt she was...so can she be called beautiful just coz of looks??..i guess not
Coz beauty is not superficial..it lies within(heart).Inner beauty describes the positive aspect of something which is not physically observable.
It's your elegance,behavior,intelligence,honesty what counts..its not about your behaviour towards an elite persona its about how you acknowledge a person of low stature than yours..
"if you get simple beauty and nothing else,you get the best thing god invents"..i am bleesed to have plenty of beautiful heart and soul around me..but i can still see many person need to embellish their heart..so do i